In Praise of Bacon

I tried to go vegetarian once. I managed to give up steak after having the ultimate steak experience at Ditka’s Steak House in Chicago; I figured steak couldn’t get any better than that, so it would be good to go out on a high note. Chicken was a sacrifice, but fish was still on the menu, because fish are not cuddly. Rabbit, deer, snake… never lived in Appalachia so I miss not that which mine lips ne’er pass’d. No biggie.

Bacon.

Bacon made it impossible.

Usually I get it extra crispy, to delude myself that it’s healthier if the bubbling grease isn’t quite so evident. But sometimes I want to get my face all mashed into it and I figure if it can’t turn a paper towel transparent, ur doin’ it wrong. I order bacon on burgers, on salads, wrapped around scallops, and inside waffles. If there’s an option on the menu to add that salty greasy meaty yum, I will so do it. Dooooo Eeeeeet.

In Christopher Hitchens’ book God Is Not Great, he speculates that the reason various religions prohibit pork is that a pig being slaughtered sounds a lot like a terrified human child, and that earlier angry cannabalistic pagan types started eating pigs to wean themselves from human bicep mastication, soooo it became wrong to eat something so similar to human flesh, and besides pigs are quite intelligent (Charlotte’s Web?), I may be paraphrasing here.

Yeah, religions are weird, I am eating bacon.

Nom nom nom.

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About ernestwhile

I live in New York City. I built a world of Lego bricks, colorful and simple and foreign. I've been picking it apart ever since.
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4 Responses to In Praise of Bacon

  1. wendystrohm says:

    bacon was my downfall too…pigs are very tasty…

  2. Gillian Colbert says:

    I went vegetarian for a whole 8 months when I was 19, but it was ravioli that brought me back. My family is Italian, our family recipe is chicken & spinach stuffing in the ravioli. We went to dinner at my parents house, homemade meatballs and ravioli with braciola. I couldn’t resist. I do love bacon though đŸ˜‰

  3. Nae's Nest says:

    We all have a breaking point. If you are ever captured by the Blog Nazis, you will give it all up for a slice of bacon. haha. Great post.

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